Be Yourself - Everyone Else is Already Taken
I am bubbly and excited about life. I want to be friends with everyone, but I am also shy about being open since I can be insecure most of my unique Sarah characteristics because I know they can be a bit over the top for some people. I am learning that I don’t need to be the person I am for anyone except myself. I can be me and be alright with not being something I’m not just to please someone or fit in somewhere.
I know tons of people and there are so many incredible women I admire but I have the hardest time making new friends. I never want to inconvenience people or feel like I am being a third wheel or an outsider.
One of my favorite entrepreneurs talks a lot about attracting and repelling your ideal clients and how when she realized she only needed to attract 30 clients each year she was able to be herself without feeling the need to please everyone.
I want to talk about what this looks like in real life and what kind of people you're trying to attract and repel and finding those few women who are your soul sitters. Who lift you up because they know you are amazing and worth it and who aren’t too proud to come to you when she also needs to be reminded of her strength, gifts and purpose. These relationships will look different for everyone and that is perfectly perfect. You will never understand every person or point of view or group of people. What is right for you isn’t what is right for everyone. Just do what is right for you, being kind and compassionate to yourself doesn’t hurt anyone. The more you take care of yourself the more you are about to grow and share yourself with the world. Taking care of yourself makes it a better world for all of us to live in.
If this is something you are lacking and you want to know what you can do to change it; think about what a girlfriend support system (your tribe) would look like to you. Then put it out into the world for now. Write it down, say it out loud, put it on social media, pray or meditate about it. The universe can’t give you what you want unless you ask for it. So get clear on what you want/ what you need to be supported and taken care of.
If you are having a hard time figuring out where you belong write a list down of what you love about yourself that you want to share with others. What makes you feel a connection when someone else says “Me too!” When is this person available to connect with you? Mornings for coffee and playdates, once a year on a girls vacation, monthly for dinner and drinks?
What would your tribe look like? Be you and don’t be shy about it. Attract those people who share your same passions and values and encourage them when they need it and go to them when you need them.
Invite a woman you think is pretty cool to grab a donut or over for a glass of wine. And seriously invite her over without cleaning your house to make it look like no one lives there. In fact, don’t clean at all. If she thinks your cool with dirty dishes in the sink and yesterday’s bra thrown over the couch, I’d bet she’s a keeper. If she judges any of that she’s not for you anyways and your person is out there. And don’t stress if it doesn’t work out or she’s pretty cool but you don’t go together chips and guac. Some people live for guacamole and some people can’t stand the sight, it doesn’t make avocados any less amazing, they just aren’t for everyone.